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Fancy a chuckle?

Discussion in 'The Thailand Vapers Lounge' started by judas, Mar 11, 2015.

Page 8 of 67
  1. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    Teacher: Did you finish you homework?
    Kid: Did you finish grading my test?
    Teacher: I have other children's tests to grade
    Kid: I have other teachers homework to do
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #106 Top
    kevin bangkok, debatedude and Siam Diesel like this.
  2. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    Q: What do girls and noodles have in common?
    A: They both wiggle when you eat them.
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #107 Top
    PattsVaper, yourauntbob, debatedude and 1 other person like this.
  3. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
    A: Cos they don't have balls to scratch.
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #108 Top
    judas, PattsVaper, debatedude and 1 other person like this.
  4. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
    A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #109 Top
    PattsVaper, debatedude and Siam Diesel like this.
  5. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    A guy goes to the store to buy condoms.
    'Do you want a bag?', the cashier asks
    'No', the guy says, 'she's not that ugly'
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #110 Top
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  6. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    Boy: I'll pay you 10 bucks to climb up the flagpole.
    Girl: ok.(climbs the flagpole)
    Girl: Mommy Mommy a boy paid me 10 bucks to climb the flagpole. Mom: He just wanted to see your underwear!
    ...Next Day...
    (Same boy): I'll pay you 20 BUCKS to climb the flagpole!
    Girl: OK thanks! (climbs the flagpole)
    Girl: Mommy Mommy today the boy paid me 20 BUCKS for climbing the flagpole, but today I tricked him this time I wasn't wearing underwear.
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #111 Top
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  7. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    How fast can you guess these words?
    1._ _ _ k
    2._ _ndom
    3.d_ck
    Answers:
    1. book
    2. random
    3.duck
    You didn't get them right you dirty minded slut!
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #112 Top
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  8. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    Guy: Can I buy you a drink?
    Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs.
    Guy: Do they swell?
    Girl: No. They spread.
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #113 Top
    PattsVaper, debatedude and Siam Diesel like this.
  9. -V-
    Cool

    -V- Administrator Staff Member

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    (Dad's daughter walks up to him)
    Daughter- Dad i gotta tell u something...
    Dad- Whats that?
    Daughter- I'm a lesbian.
    Dad- Okay.
    (Dad walks around then his other daughter comes up to him)
    Daughter #2- Dad i gotta tell u something...
    Dad- What's that?
    Daughter #2- I'm a lesbian.
    Dad- Damn, does anybody in this house like dick?
    Son- I do!!!!
     
    -V-, May 21, 2015
    #114 Top
    judas, PattsVaper, yourauntbob and 2 others like this.
  10. yourauntbob
    Happy

    yourauntbob hair club for men member

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    :rolling laugh::bravo::rolling laugh: @V for stepping up with these jokes. sides are hurting from some of them
     
    yourauntbob, May 22, 2015
    #115 Top
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  11. PattsVaper
    Lurking

    PattsVaper Thailand Vapers Member

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    @V... thanks for all the chuckles mate.
     
    PattsVaper, May 22, 2015
    #116 Top
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  12. kevin bangkok

    kevin bangkok Well-Known Member

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    A
    > virile
    > middle aged Italian gentlemen named Rico was relaxing at his
    > favourite bar in
    > Rome when he
    > managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman.
    > Things progressed to the
    > point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some
    > small talk, they
    > retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.
    > After a pleasant
    > interlude, he asked with a smile, "So, you
    > finish?" She paused for a second,
    > frowned, and replied. "No!"
    > Surprised, Guido reached for her and the love
    > making resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and
    > there were screams of
    > passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and
    > asked, "You
    > finish?"
    > Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled
    > closer
    > to him and softly said, "No!"
    > The stunned, but damned if he was going to
    > leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman
    > yet again. Using the
    > last bit of his strength, he barely managed it, but they
    > ended together
    > screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets.
    > Exhausted, Guido fell
    > onto his back, gasping for air.
    > Barely able to turn his head, he looked into
    > her beautiful sexy eyes, smiled proudly and asked again,
    > "You finish??
    > Barely
    > able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear...
    > "No, I
    > Norwegian."
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
    >
     
    kevin bangkok, May 22, 2015
    #117 Top
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  13. PattsVaper
    Lurking

    PattsVaper Thailand Vapers Member

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    :rolling laugh: This really cracked me up Kev.
     
    PattsVaper, May 23, 2015
    #118 Top
  14. kevin bangkok

    kevin bangkok Well-Known Member

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    A woman pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a masked robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach. Luckily the babies were alright. The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate. She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.

    All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. 'What's wrong?' asked the mother. 'I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out,' replied the daughter.

    The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years ago.

    [​IMG]About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. 'Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out.'

    Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.

    A week later her son walked into the room in tears. 'It's okay' said the Mom, 'I know what happened. You were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out.'

    'No,' said the boy, 'I was playing with myself and I shot the dog.'
     
    kevin bangkok, May 23, 2015
    #119 Top
    judas, Tibo, PattsVaper and 3 others like this.
  15. Siam Diesel
    Lurking

    Siam Diesel Nauti Moderator Staff Member

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    Available Parking ...


    Today I had to go to the mall. As I approached the entrance, I noticed a driver looking for a parking space.

    I flagged the driver and pointed out a handicap parking space that was open and available. The driver looked puzzled, rolled down her window and said, "I'm not handicapped!"

    Well, as you can imagine, my face was red! "Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "I saw your Obama bumper sticker, and I just assumed that you suffered from some sort of mental disorder.”

    She gave me the finger and screamed some nasty names at me.

    Boy! Some people don't appreciate it when you're just trying to help them out!
     
    Siam Diesel, May 23, 2015
    #120 Top
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